Continued: A Letter to my OB Date: Mar 12, 2008 12:37:32 PM PDT Author: meemccar When my baby was born I barely saw her and she was whisked away for hours, despite the fact that the only problem she was having was slightly low body temp, which could have been cared for my kangaroo care with me and some warming blankets. I feel you made poor decisions for us. I say that you made the decisions because I feel that failing to provide up-to-date, evidence-based information and failing to obtain truly informed consent constitutes making decisions for us. You sensed my resistance to your authority, and you chose to use a scare tactic to put me in my place, and then you remained absent for about 15 hours. I feel that by forcing the pitocin, you started a chain of events that led to my c section birth, and this feeling is supported by the research on the link between induction and subsequent c section. Here are the effects of your decisions on me, my baby, and my husband: · I am still experiencing post-traumatic stress from this disempowering experience, which your attitude set the tone for. This includes battling post partum depression. · My baby and I are still, at 10 months, struggling to feel truly attached to one another, despite my staying at home with her full time, breastfeeding exclusively, and more. I feel this is because of the traumatic birth experience, the lack of oxytocin “high” and the lack of bonding time at her birth. · I am still experiencing vaginal discomfort during intercourse, as well as periodic flashbacks of labor during sex. · My baby has had major digestive problems, which might have been avoided if she’d not been exposed to the antibiotics during birth (which may or may not have been worth the risk) and if she’d not been deprived of beneficial bacteria from the birth canal due to the c section. In closing, I want you to understand how I feel, so that you know how your style of practice affects your patients. I’m sure you mean well most of the time, and I’m sure you feel entirely justified in using the outdated practice methods used by so many of your colleagues, but I want you to know there’s real harm in your inability to learn another way. Your paternalistic, disease-based view of the birth process sets women up for pain, trauma, and increased risk to themselves and their baby. If you would like to know where I’ve gotten some of my information, here are some of the sources. I would plead that you approach the research with an open, but critical, mind. I approach all research skeptically, as anyone who believes in evidence based practice should, but I also try not to fall into the trap of believing that research is good or bad simply because of the name of the journal it’s published in. 1) www.independentchildbirth.com 2) La Leche League International 3) Henci Goer’s Informed Choice in Childbirth and Obstetric Myths vs. Research Realities 4) Centers for Disease Control; "Treating Group B Strep: Are Antibiotics Necessary?" 5) Midwifery Today 6) The new documentary The Business of Being Born 7) www.gentlebirth.org has lists of “establishment” researchers and articles (including the World Health Organization ) that show birthing with certified midwives at home, without doctors and hospitals, is safer for low-risk women. Oh, and in case you’re wondering: I have a graduate degree from Washington University in St. Louis, my mother has a PhD in nursing and 35 years practice experience, and I’ve consulted at least 20 different well-respected researchers’ work before writing this letter, so please don’t discount my feelings as uninformed. Thank you.   Reply to this Post

Continued: A Letter to my OB Date: Mar 17, 2008 6:50:49 AM PDT Author: Kathy P Excellent letter! I would just change the word "feelings" in the last line. Yes, you are feeling these things, but you are not primarily basing your letter on your feelings. "Feelings" just are--informed or not, they just are. You might change it to "this letter" or "my objections" or "my position"--something along those lines. "Feelings" doesn't quite convey the power that the rest of this letter conveys. You may simply say "... please don't discount me as being uninformed." Because you are informed--and very well informed!   Reply to this Post

Continued: A Letter to my OB Date: Mar 24, 2008 7:33:17 PM PDT Author: Independent Childbirth I would remove "feelings" as well. It makes it sound as though women's experiences and suffering from inhumane care is about not "hurting our feelings." The research on the long term effects of 'routine' birth care is coming out. There is an extensive list of research linking drug dependency in our children to medicated birth, ultrasound causing brain damage but there are also the women we know whom research hasn't touched yet as in women whose birth care is more about birth rape than poor care. Our feelings aren't hurt Doctor. Our very being, our core, our children, our lives are damaged at your hand. We cannot ever re-do a birth. Independent Childbirth: Expand Your Options! The people who make a difference are not the ones with the credentials, but the ones with the concern. ~ Max Lucado Believe in the power of words at birth: http://tinyurl.com/3748nc   Reply to this Post

Continued: A Letter to my OB Date: Apr 7, 2009 6:48:02 AM PDT Author: wendyrful1 Originally Posted by Independent Childbirth: though women's experiences and suffering from inhumane care is about not "hurting our feelings." Our feelings aren't hurt Doctor. Our very being, our core, our children, our lives are damaged at your hand. We cannot ever re-do a birth. WOW! that is a powerful statement. I am working on writing a strong statemetn for my doula web page to get this point accross, that you might not have a second chance to make better birth choices... I might like to add this quote to it. Would you mind?   Reply to this Post

Continued: A Letter to my OB Date: Apr 7, 2009 7:05:14 AM PDT Author: wendyrful1 'I' like your letter. Sadly I have wondered whether an OB would even bother to read your letter, -as you indicated he probably didn't read your birth plan. I had an unpleasant birth experience (though in general terms a good birth), with my 2nd of 6 births. I moved away and then moved back to this area a few years ago. I have wondered if I were to write a letter to the Dr. at my delivery, and if it would mean anything to him at all. Certainly he wouldn't remember my birth. I have worked with moms as a doula at two births with this Dr. and I can hardly stand to be in the same room as him. I want to write my letter, and yet think it will mean nothing to him. I am also not sure I want to let him 'know' who I am, because if I wrote it I would be Thanking him for helping to make me who I am today! It is because of the 'trauma' I experienced at my birth (2nd hospital birth), that I chose an unassisted birth for my 3rd baby, so that the Dr's/hosp policies/etc. couldn't "hurt" me again! After that experience I went on to have a LOVELY MW attended HB, a BC WB, and a Home WB. I have become a certified labor Doula and am working to become a CPM some day. My goal and desire is to help other mothers not have to go through the birth trauma that so many mothers experience. It is a difficult battle, and I want to get teh word out to women to help them make better choices the first time! They might not have a 2nd chance!!! Perhaps the letter writing could be just therapeutic for yourself, but you could send it also. Just maybe, it MIGHT make an impression for the Dr. to realize that what he considers 'standard' is not the best way to practice medicine and to consider the feelings (they are real) and the outcome of the births he 'performs' on mothers and babies. Good luck! and thank you for sharing. p.s. I also have a birth stories blog. I am interested in posting your letter. it might be seen by a pregnant mom and perhaps be able to help her to 'wake up' and do more to make wise birth choices. Feel free to email me in person. doula @ wendyrful dot com   Reply to this Post